Nothing Will Ever Be Right With My World

My mother died very unexpectedly on Sunday, August 15. She was only 62. I've lost my best friend. Nothing will ever be right in my world again.

I don't know when I'll be able to write again. Life is just not the same and we have a lot of life changing decisions to make. I'm hoping to someday feel up to posting.

Should I Really Recommend That?

For a while now Mark has been very unhappy working for this trucking company. They are not well run and the main person that gives out loads is a major game player. Plus when Mark was hired he was told he would make between $700 and $1000 a week. Terrific! We'd finally catch up on our back rent and other bills! YEAH FLIPPIN' RIGHT! Mark is making nowhere near that much money. In fact he makes less than what my mom makes and we have a lot more expenses.

The newest fun from the office is telling Mark he is heading home then changing it at the last minute. They've done this many, many times. Last week he was to come home late on Thursday. On Thursday morning the wonderful wicked witch called him to say she needed him to take another load to the other side of the state. That load wouldn't deliver until Friday and he wouldn't be back until Saturday. Unfortunately for the wicked witch mark ran out of hours and could not deliver that load. To punish him for that, they gave his truck to another driver to use. They couldn't tell him when the truck would be back but that Mark did have a load that had to be delivered at 5am Wednesday morning. The truck finally came back to the yard sometime after 8pm Monday night. My kids are in bed by that time and I could not drive him the half an hour to get the truck. Instead he left at the crack of dawn on Tuesday. This made the wicked witch mad and as soon as he delivered the load she shut him down. He sat for more than 24 hours doing absolutely nothing! He called me very upset because of this crap.

Finally last night he was given a load coming to Michigan. The place he was picking up was running way behind and it took longer than it should have to load his truck. This turned out to be a HUGE miracle! While he was waiting a fire started in his truck! Had he gotten his load on time he would have immediately gone to take a nap. The fire would have broken out while he was sleeping. The reason for the fire??? The wonderful grease monkeys that don't actually know how to work on big trucks "fixed" his air conditioning with some tape and other junk. That is what started the fire. A fire that could have killed my husband. Because the company is too CHEAP to actually hire big truck mechanics! The best part is that this is the SECOND fire he has had while working for this company! A couple of months ago they tightened the brakes far too tight on the trailer and they caught on fire while he was driving down the the road. It required firetrucks and police. The brakes had been tightened so tight that several hours later they were still red hot.

Soooo...where does this leave us? As I mentioned before we are at a point where we have to move or come up with A LOT of money to pay our back rent. Of course at this point we don't have money. Not to move and not to pay the back rent. Granted I WANT to move. I hate this house and it is infested with spiders. It just all comes down to money.

But....Do I want to have my husband work at a place where he is making very little money and risks being killed by stupidity? Not to mention the stress from the game playing. Oh and they like to withhold checks as punishment which is illegal in Michigan. That is why they won't mail the check or direct deposit it. They us it as a way to keep you in line...their line. I did look it up though and it is illegal to withhold a paycheck for work already completed. Mark is looking for a new job but it is difficult to do from the road. He had an interview scheduled for today but had to cancel it because of the game playing. I think he got it rescheduled though. Truthfully at this point he would probably make more money working two part time jobs then working for these clowns. Plus we would have him home with us. He could look for a good paying full time job while working part time and actually spending time with his family.

So I told my husband today that I felt he should quit this job. I do not want my husband to go through another fire in that damn truck. I do not want him stressed to the point of breakdown because of the craziness of the wicked witch. I don't want him missing interviews for better jobs. I know, I KNOW this is a crazy idea. I know we have no money and no home. I know!!! But Mark is my rock, the father of my children and without him I would be lost. He is what keeps me from careening down the rapids. I NEED him. Not to mention the children need him. Last night I prayed about this. I knew telling him to quit was a foolish thing. I prayed that this was the right decision. Then this morning Mark called me and told me about the fire. Somehow I saw that as a smoke signal saying get out while you can.

Fun Time in the Summertime!

Gavin is now nine and a half months old. He is 17 pounds putting him in the 10th percentile. His iron was low at his 9 month appointment. Now we are giving him a ton of food that is rich in iron. The doctor gave me a list of food but the majority are things he can not yet eat! However I have upped the amount of food he gets at each feeding. He gets a full jar of meat, full jar of veg and a full jar of fruit. He eats it down quite happily and I expect that he will have moved up out of the 10th percentile at his 1 year appointment.

Henry and Irene have finished their dance and tumbling classes. Each class is only $7 which I think is a fair price. In the fall there is a ten week dance class and a ten week tumbling. Of course these means I'd need $140. I'd LOVE for them to go since they enjoyed it so much but right now money seems to have forgotten where we live. Preschool will be starting in September and right now I don't have the money for that either and I am a bit sick of constantly worrying about it!

Now let's talk about happier times! My favorite holiday is the 4th of July. This year Mark's parents came up to spend a couple of days with the kids. The kids had a wonderful time! Unfortunately I never took a single picture! We spent a ton of time at the carnival. Rides, corn dogs, lemonade, more rides. There was also a flea market that my kids ruthlessly used to get a bunch of inexpensive gifts from their grandparents. The petting zoo animals were also well fed by my children. And the reptile exhibit was paid for and gone through several times. We did manage to go through the art fair where my mother-in-law bought me a huge basket to hold my knitting. It's big and beautiful and already full of yarn! Mark bought me a green bead bracelet which I have forgotten the name of the stones used. We did have a lot of fun though and the kids still talk about the fun things they did with Grandma Pat and Grandpa.

Mark's parents came up for the day a couple of weeks after the 4th. We spent the day being tourists in our downtown area. Then we had a nice dinner out. A week (I think) later I took the kids to Ludington while Mark was on the road. His parents were there with his sister and her children. Her oldest son wrestles and was at the "Barn Brawl" at the county fair. He came in second place! I was impressed with his skill but I hope Henry and Gavin never want to wrestle! It looks like it hurts! At some point during the matches Grandpa took Henry and Irene for corn dogs and ice cream. What a mess! What huge smiles! Darn grandparents...always spoiling the grandkids ;-) Afterward we went out for lunch at Big Boy. It was another good day. We keep hoping to head down to Grand Rapids to see them and go to the zoo there. Has yet to happen though because of the current lack of funds. Until then the kids will call the once a week or so. That is always a hoot. My kids do a lot of yelling on the phone.

My brother, Peter, turned 26 last week. For his birthday he wanted all of us to meet at my brother Matt's cabin for the weekend. We drove up early Saturday morning. It was not the easiest 3 hour ride.The view from the porch out to Rainy Lake. The weather and the water was warm and beautiful!Mark took Henry and Irene out on the jet ski. The both really wanted to go out but they wanted to come in even more!Above is a picture of my brother Peter getting ready to try knee-boarding. Days later he still hurt from that adventure! Daddy taking the jet ski out alone this time.And yes, that is a golden retriever on the jet ski. Her name is Marne and she loves to jet ski. She also loves to go on the boat. Marne on dry land but she is very wet! She loves the lake and is constantly in it.

Out on the pontoon boat. Irene loved to drive but thank goodness there was only one other boat out. She is a crazy driver!!!

Gavin was not a fan of the infant life vest.

Grandpa with Gavin and my nephew Eric.

Well, hey there! Sleepy time on Grandpa

More fun in the water. Irene liked that it wasn't wavy there. They both played for a long time.

My brother Peter...or Uncle Peeda as the kids call him :-)

On Sunday we heading back home. Peter followed us in order to spend the night with us. He was suppose to be here until Wednesday but he had to leave early for a dentist appointment. I've been trying to get him to come back to stay until Friday. We have been having beautiful beach weather.

Monday we went to our beach or rather the gorgeous beach we have since our town is on Lake Michigan. We played in the warm lake until Peter had to leave. Of course, I slathered the children in sunscreen and neglected myself. Now my shoulders and arms are flaming red!

Uncle Peter dug a hole for the kids only to have them promptly fill it up. My little guy. He doesn't look that little and everyone says he is so big but in reality he is a lightweight.Daddy and Henry cooling off in the water.A few weeks ago Peter called to inform us that he and his wife were moving back to Virgina. They have not been in Michigan even a full year yet but Ashley hates Michigan. If you've read my blog you know we started off as great friends but recent comments have soured our relationship. She was not very restrained in her great dislike of Michigan and its inhabitants. I don't think she thought about what she was saying or how it was coming off to others. It was off putting and I've done a lot of tongue biting in recent months. She is now working in Virginia mere miles from her family and from (more!) recent comments she seems to be in very high spirits. I am disappointed that my brother will be again moving out of state. I've tried to be understanding though and even got visitor information on the area to which he is moving. He and I have always been very close. We've always been huge text messagers so I am hoping we will continue on.

The entire situation is a big disappointment. They lived in Livonia which is in the Detroit area and I don't think she ever came up our way in the beautiful summertime. Michigan is soooooo much more than Detroit and its people. I feel like she never gave it a chance. Sometimes you have to actually look around you. You have to make the best of the situation. However, these are things I have learned through life experiences and old age.

While we were at the beach a big ship left town. It seemed like a fitting end to all this. Leaving the harbor for the unknown of the big lake. Sailing out into uncertainty. Shall I go on? Things are always changing and for some reason you can't change that. I wish my brother still living near me. I wish ashley and I were better friends. I wish a lot of things.Another ending happened recently. In July my 15 year old dog died. His name was Sam. He was a chow/lab mix. I got him when I was 18. He was a funny dog. He had a lot of quirks. And he was never sick until the last month of his life. Even though he was still living with my mom he was still my buddy. We had a thing called Butt Scratchers where he'd stand between my legs so I could scratch his back right where his tail started. He'd have fallen over from pleasure if I hadn't been holding him up with my legs! He was a silly old guy and I loved him. I miss him. More change is on the horizon for us. We need to find a new place to live. Since last year when Mark was out of work we have been behind on rent and this new job is not paying like promised. Unfortunately we have not been able to catch up on the back rent as well as keep current on the bills. The landlord, a truly good guy, stopped by last week. He needs us to make some kind of decision soon on how we are going to handle this. Either we somehow catch up or we move. Currently, I cannot see how will are going to manage doing either. I am trying to look at this positively. We won't be living on this darn hill for another winter! We will not be in this spider infested scary place! Perhaps we'll finally have a yard for the kids to play in! See! Positive thoughts. I am concerned though. We need money to move and like I said before, money seems to have forgotten where we live. We shall make the best though! I don't want to end on three serious notes. Yes, my brother is moving, but I am trying to think of it as a chance to visit a different section of Virginia. Yes, Sammy died, but he had a good, long life. Yes, we are poor and are about to be homeless, but I have three great kids and a grumpy husband that I love. I looked around and discovered I am blessed.

If you have a free moment visit my knitting blog.

Yes, I have a Knitting Blog

I have a knitting blog that I post pictures of what I'm working on or the items I've finished. I don't think it gets many visitors. I really need to add more info like the yarn I use and what pattern and were I got it. This cute book I found at Borders on the clearance table. $2.99! It has a lot of patterns in it. Most of them are Christmas type knits but there are ideas for gifts. There are even a couple of Christmas stocking patterns that I would make for my family if I hadn't already made ours.

This beautiful green is being turned into a simple shawl for me. The picture does not do the color justice. It is called Florida Keys green. I am doing an all knit shawl. Kinda boring but it will showcase the color of the yarn.

If you'd like to read more about my projects or just look at the pictures check out my knitting blog. And This Is Where I Knit

Where Have You Been?

Okay, I admit I have been very lazy about updating this blog. I've been busy! First off I want to say a great big congratulations to my friends Shannon and Warren. Their daughter, and first child, made her appearance at the end of May. For some reason I cannot remember what day even though I got to meet her the very next day! Must be old age setting in! Anyway, the beautiful Samantha pushed her way into this world faster then anyone could have imagined. I am thrilled for my friends and I am positive they will be fantastic parents :-) Henry finished preschool on May 28th. They had a little ceremony and a party with ice cream after. Preschool was well worth the money. I love how he has grown over the year. Henry will be doing another year of preschool in the fall and Irene will be in the 3 year old class which meets twice a week. It will be hard to pay both tuitions both mark and I feel that this is money well spent.

Below is Henry receiving his certificate from Mrs. Wagner. That lovely lady has the patience of a saint!

We managed to make it to the beach. We've had a lot of rain and finally had a weekend of sunshine. Henry is crazy about the water. Lake Michigan was cold but he was in it anyway even though he was shivering like crazy.

It was Gavin's first time going to the beach. He and Henry have matching shark swimsuits.

Gavin was far more interested in playing with a bib instead of any sand or sand toys.

My pretty girl had a great time. She would lay down on the beach towels and want to be covered up.

This is the pier and lighthouse. I love our beach. I love lake Michigan. It is an absolutely beautiful!

At the beach house is a little restaurant. They actually sell a lot of food. We had a small lunch there after playing. I had a great turkey club.

This summer I was hoping to get the kids involved with sports and other activities. Unfortunately Henry is still too young. Everything is for age 5 and above. I did find, at one of the dance studios, a tumbling class. It is 7 classes long. They also offered a creative movement class for 3 year olds so Irene is taking that. We've been to two so far and the kids love them! Henry is very good at tumbling which came as no surprise ;)

That is a picture of Irene through the door to the classroom. She is on the right.

That's Henry in the blue shirt. He is stretching and actually paying attention!

Another of Henry taken through the door.

That's Henry showing just how flexible he can be!

So that is just a few of the things that have been keeping us busy over the last month!