Today the kids and I spent a lot of time outside. We used their toy rakes and tried raking the leaves away from the front of the house where some pretty flowers have sprung up. I have no idea what is weed and what is flower but I am pretty sure there are some weeds in there. It's better than what it was although not perfect. After that we went to the dollar store just to see what outside doo-daas we could find for the yard. We picked out a little wind chime, windsock, and metal flower that sticks into the ground. Henry found a plastic watering can in the shape of an elephant.
After nap time we went outside again and finally for a walk. A long block from our house there was a group of kids Henry's age and older playing outside while a guy (assuming the dad?) cleaned his car. Henry went right up and made friends. He didn't want to leave. The dad (?) never said a word to us and I felt bad since the cleaning of the car seemed more important then the children playing. I have a hard time just going up to people and introducing myself especially when they are kinda making it clear that they are very involved with their whatever and not me or my kids. Yes...I should have made the effort...but it is very hard for me. And then my shyness comes off as aloofness or snobbery. It's not the case!
Henry did not want to leave these kids and kept asking me to go back. It just drove home the fact that we really don't know that many families with kids. The families we do know are great but the all seem to have their own friends, families, routines set and I don't know how to get us involved. What do I do? My heart breaks for my kids. Let's face it...daddy is home let's say approximately 8 days of the month. They love him so much but don't get a lot of time with him. We go to Kindermusik once a week but the rest of the time it's me. And after this last Kindermusik where Henry latched onto another child's grandpa it really drove the point home. Sadly our town does not offer a lot in the way of young kid activities. I just don't know what to do and I am feeling very discouraged tonight and like the worst mother ever.
I am thinking of possibly moving. I haven't looked into it yet and there is another reason we couldn't move anytime very soon but I have been thinking about moving closer to my older brother and my dad. The kids would have more male figures in their immediate lives plus we would be an hour closer to where we pick up and drop off Mark. Of course I don't necessarily want to leave. What I want is more interaction with others for my kids. I worry about my mom (even though she still is not talking to me. over 2 weeks now). And I have picked out a preschool for Henry for the fall. Plus I really like our doctors in Traverse City which lets face it I am not going to drive four hours to get to (although I did drive three hours from Grand Rapids to Traverse City just to seem my doctor when I was pregnant with Irene...but that is another story).
So I guess this post is about my mommy guilt. I am looking for ideas, suggestions, anything from moms and non-moms, from people living in our town and not, religious or non-religious, crafts, or not. Anything.
How can I make it better for my kids?
4 comments:
Hey! I have found that its really hard to meet people sometimes too. Try meetup.com. It is a "social networking" site, but the point of it is to meet people in person and have groups. There are usually a few moms groups where they have playdates every week etc. I don't know what size of city you live in, but when I was in Nashville, there were a couple groups, and here in Tampa there are even more. Usually you have to request to join, and fill out a little profile about yourself, and then they approve you (I've found usually within a day or so). The ladies I have met (and their kids) are so nice and we always have a great time! Let me know if you sign up for an account. Oh its not just a parenting site either, it has all kinds of groups.
Ok sorry for the long post, but I really hope that it helps!!!
the meetup suggestion from your friend anna is great! i've had some friends who have used it for happy hours and movie outings, but it would be a fun way to meet other moms and kids :)
i think once henry is in preschool that will automatically lend itself to more interactions because you'll see other parents when you drop him off, pick him up, class parties, etc.
and i know this isn't exactly what you want to hear but i have to put it out there: it takes a lot of love, time and patience to be a stay-at-home mom with two children. your kids are SO lucky they are spending so much of their early lives with their momma. that time is special and precious.
i'm sorry that you are feeling so down, and i wish your brother and i didn't live so dag on far away :( perhaps you could suggest to your dad/matt a monthly get together? maybe meeting halfway or you going there? i'm sure your dad would love to come to manistee and stay with you! he talked to fondly of manistee when i met him.
if i find any good websites i'll most certainly send them along. and i know i'm not a mom but i hope something i said in here might have been helpful! love you!
I see now why you love Ashley soo much! I agree with her that you will be meting crazy amounts of people once H starts school. And I am always here for you! I don't want to intrude on your time with Mark, and since I don't know which weekends he's home, I don't want to bother you...but call me if you need some semi-adult interaction...I will drop whatever I am doing....
Nicole! Mason and TT love sharing their Vava!
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