Life, or something like it.

I've been silent for a while on this blog. I've added to my knitting blog several times but to write here has been difficult. I still like our little place here in our new town. I love that whenever the weather is decent that we walk half a block to the riverwalk and feed the ducks and just enjoy the scenery. Plus, with the library being a block away I've been catching up on all my favorite authors. (On that note check out Alan Bradley's Flava de Luce series. The first book is The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie. I love this series and the latest installment is waiting for me at the library) Henry is adjusting to the school, although he had a difficult day last Friday. I'm hoping that isn't going to become a new thing. He is trying the hot lunch today at school and was excited about it. Irene is doing well at school and is learning sign language.

I do miss things about our old town. I miss having the beaches to drive to and the downtown. I miss my MOPS group and the friends I had there. Not knowing anyone here besides family means I can't make playdates at the parks. Our new town does have some Christmas festivals coming up. In a couple of weeks they have a craft festival and on December 3rd they have a Santa parade, craft fair, and meeting/pictures with Santa on the Showboat. There are things to look forward to.

I guess my big disappointment is that being poor in the Grand Rapids area means that you're treated as sub-human. We've been trying to get doctors for the kids. We've been to the emergency room twice since moving here. Once when Henry cut open his eyebrow and again two weeks ago when both Henry and Irene were crying in pain over ear infections. We tried a walk-in clinic for the ear infections but we were turned away because they did not take medicaid. Since we did not have a cell phone we had no way of finding another clinic and headed for the ER. For that visit we've been verbally "spanked" by the health plan for not seeing the doctor. NO EXCUSES was blazoned across the letter in angry red. Apparently, even if your child is crying in pain on a Sunday morning, you are suppose to wait until Monday to see a doctor.

Ah, but the new doctor saga is just so much fun! We called the medicaid health plan that the children are on asked that they send a booklet with all the doctors in Kent County that take the plan. It arrived and we went through it. Not a single pediatrician in the book was taking new patients. Not a single Family Practice doctor was taking new patients. And in our town? No doctors at all participated in this health plan. None.

We called the health plan again and asked if they could list any doctors in the area that were taking patients. They gave us two. One is a practice in the worst section of Grand Rapids. We're talking crack baby central. My mother-in-law just said "No, don't go down there." The other doctor did not work with the hospital in Grand Rapids...even though he was a Grand Rapids doctor. What? We decided to look online using the health plan's website. Their online search brought up different doctors. We got excited. Could there be a glimmer of hope? Yeah, right. None of those doctors were taking patients with our health plan. We called the health plan back and this time not even the doctor in crack baby central was taking patients. There was a new doctor available, but he isn't affiliated with the local hospital and...he doesn't speak English.

Finally we called a doctor in Grandville. She would be a 20/30 minute ride for us BUT she was in a good area, took our insurance and worked with the local hospital. Great! Hahahaha! After setting up appointments for the children they called back the next day to say they've cancelled us because they were no longer taking patients with our health plan.

You must understand, none of these doctors (and we called a lot!) would take us because we have a medicaid health plan and they are only required to take so many and then they can turn the rest away. Most were taking new patients until you told them your health plan. That is when they would say "Sorry, we're not taking any more medicaid patients."

Back online, at the health plan website, we searched the four counties around here. We found a doctor that is an hour and a half away. Of course, she cannot get the children in until a month and a half from now. AND she only works two days a week. Mark made appointments even though I am against it. The children are still patients of the pediatric clinic in Traverse City and they have office hours every day and belong to a top 100 hospital. I can't see driving an hour and a half to go to some two-bit doctor when we could drive an extra half hour/45 minutes and see their good doctors. Of course, all of this is moot since we have no money. All the doctors might as well be on Mars since there is no way we could afford the gas to get there.

Have I mentioned this? The weekend we moved here Mark was kicked off unemployment. His former company asked him to turn in his truck, keys, etc. when they found out he was being treated for high blood pressure. His doctor sent numerous reports to the company as well as unemployment saying that he was fully capable of working. This got him unemployment, at first. Then every week the former employer would try a new tactic to get him removed. Each week we would fax more paperwork, doctor forms. They must have tried five different things until they finally got through.

We've now been two and a half months without income of any kind. Mark is filling out at least three applications a day for any kind of job available. The very last of my jewelry has been sold just to keep us in gas money. Recently we sold a ring of my mother's and that money went to buy winter jackets and boots for the children. It also bought toilet paper, female necessities, and dog food. We are now down to our last $20. I have my wedding earrings, and a small diamond heart pendant of my mothers that has very special memories associated with it. These things are the last of the "good" jewelry I own and I am about to say goodbye to them. What will I get for them? Perhaps $65...if I'm lucky.

So, why share all this with people I don't know? I guess I am feeling rather depressed and now the holidays are coming up fast. When we first moved we thought the unemployment would help give us a small but happy holiday. Now, I don't know what my three children will find under the tree. My family wants us to drive an hour to visit them for Thanksgiving and to come back again two days later for an early Christmas with the brother that lives out of state. I have repeatedly told them that we have no money. There is no way we could put that much gas in the car and if we could we certainly couldn't waste it to make a two hour round trip. Sometimes I think our families think that we are playing at being poor. People, we are really there.

One good thing we happened to find is a cell phone company that gives you a free tracfone and one year of free service if you qualify. We qualify and we now have 250 minutes a month and a phone. The minutes don't roll over but who cares! We finally have a phone! I cannot tell you how much not having a phone is a huge worry when having three kids. If someone got hurt how would we contact help? Thankfully, now we can.

I'm trying, trying, trying to have a positive outlook. I'm trying to have faith.